Cosmetic Surgery to Be Taxed Unless Something Even More Ridiculous Can Be Identified

Recently I read an article where the United States Senate Majority Leader (Harry Reid D-NV) proposed new a tax on elective cosmetic surgery. I understand the need to tax everything that moves and breathes, because Washington can spend money faster than a sailor on liberty in the Philippines. This October alone they spent $176 Billon more than was collected, but less I digress.

For my money, elective cosmetic surgery is one of those things that all American benefit from; much like city parks and national forest. When someone has work done they are improving life here on earth for everyone they come in contact with. We all have at least one relative that could benefit from a little “elective work”. Wouldn’t the holiday dinner be much more enjoyable if Great Aunt Rose had one of those three chins dealt with? What if Uncle Buck had some belly work and a hair weave? Of course we all know what Cousin Berta needs to have done, so I won’t go on.

If I were your representative to congress I’d create a program that promoted cosmetic surgery and pass out tax credits to those that elected to have it done. My bill would probably be named the “Mental Obsession Related to the Enhancement of the Cosmetic Recovery Act Plan of 2009 “ (hereafter to be known as MORECRAP).

Under the Majority Leaders plan servers at the “Hot Wings” place and aspiring actors/actresses would be taxed before they even began their job search, but under MORECRAP they would receive a tax credit that would allow them explore new opportunities. Chances are their new job would probably be better paying, so the tax payers would collect on the backend through higher tax revenues. Once again, everyone wins.

If you think we need MORECRAP in Washington please write your representatives and share this plan with them. If not, perhaps you can recommend a more ridiculous tax using the comments section below. Here is one to get you started…..propose a tax on recovering alcoholics for the economic damage they intentionally inflected on the producers of vodka.

When Things Get Tough – Scum Rises To The Top

I have an international reputation for being honorable, faithful, dependable, honest, trustworthy person! I know this be true because just this past week I have received at least 25 messages from people all over the world telling me so. My reputation is so good that these people are willing to send me millions of their dollars that will soon be lost because of the legal technicalities of a dead relative or some other manmade legal disaster. Their issues must be serious as some of them have managed to find all four of my e-mail addresses to ensure I hear their pleas for help.

A reasonable person might find it odd that if I am such a trusted person, why do they feel I would be compelled to help them break international banking laws. Admittedly, I do have a “bucket list”, but it does not include prison time, domestic or otherwise.

Here are a few samples of messaged I received:

Mrs. Rose George informed me that she have successfully transferred the funds out of her bank because of my sincerity, courage and trustworthiness' I’ve showed at the course of the (some unknown to me) transaction she wanted to compensate me and show her gratitude to with the sum of $750,000. It seems that I need to contact her lawyer in Bangkok, Thailand to claim these funds. I’m not even sure I understand what she is saying….

A bank offered me a loan with a very low interest rate of 5% per year in form of student, business, car, house, mortgages or any other financial assistance ranging from $1,000.00 to $5,000,000.00 (wow). I’m told their loans are well insured for maximum security, and it is a priority for them. Everybody is qualified to obtain a loan from this company. All I had to do was fill out the fields below – of course that included some personal information.

The kind people of Nigeria seem to trust me. I’m not sure what is in Nigeria, but there seems to be a lot of cash coming out. I estimate that I have turned down nearly $500 Million from them over the last decade.

My military record must have wow’d someone as there are Soldiers in Iraq sending e-mails asking me to hold cash that was found in one Saddam’s Palace’s. I guess the Army is impressed with the 13 days Sea Duty I had in the Navy (not bad for three enlistments). Obviously there have been changes in the Uniform Code of Military Justice since my day.

Admittedly, times are tough for some people right now. If you see something that looks too good to be true, recognize it for what it is. If in doubt, ask for impartial advice and trust the counsel received. Remember, unless you’re sitting at your mom’s table – there is not free lunch.

Latest Scam Targets Your Grandparents

The scammers have reached a new low. Their target is your Grandparents; so please warn them that they are being targeted. As I understand it, this is an old scam that is being revived by the lowest level of humanity. Here’s how it works.

Your grandparent received a call that usually begins like this: “Hi, Grandpa, is that you? or “Hi Grandma, it’s me – your favorite grandson!” They typically will do it in a low voice, so the elderly will normally reply “is that you Bobbie?” Now the bad guys have the name they needed and the game is on.

Now Bobbie (the scumbag, not you) will explain to Grandma that he needs her to wire him money immediately for car repairs because he is stranded in the middle nowhere. Or he needs tuition money to prevent being kicked out of college. Or he has been arrested – you get the idea – the list is endless.

The best target for Bobbie the Scumbag is an elderly person that momentarily gets confused or might not recognize the voice because of hearing loss. These folks often respond before they realize it is not their family member. Before anyone knows it they have wired a couple of thousand dollars to some heartless person that quickly disappears. Please protect your elderly parents / grandparents from this scam by warning them they could be targeted.

Remind them to question the call, perhaps even have another family member investigate the situation before sending money. Most importantly, immediately report the contact to your local police department. These bad guys normally focus on specific areas – quick action will allow the authorities to shut them down before significant damage is done.